When touch cannot be taken for granted
Trauma-Informed Massage: On Safety, Trust, and Reconnecting with Your Body
For many people, a massage is a moment of relaxation. A chance to let go of responsibilities for a while, get out of your head, and give your body some attention. But I understand that touch does not feel relaxing or comfortable for everyone. What if touch brings up tension instead? What if you find it difficult to relax, even when you know you are in a safe environment? In my practice, I recognise that people who have been through distressing experiences, lived with prolonged stress, or find physical closeness difficult may experience massage differently. That is why I offer a trauma-informed approach, where safety, trust, and respect for your personal boundaries come first.
When Your Body Remains on Alert
Through my background in mental healthcare, I am familiar with the ways distressing events and prolonged stress can affect how your body responds to touch, physical closeness, and relaxation. You may notice that your muscles are constantly tense, that you startle easily, or that you find it difficult to let go of control. Sometimes, you may feel disconnected from your body, as though you are not entirely present. These can be responses of a nervous system that has become accustomed to staying alert and protecting you. Even when your surroundings are safe, your body may struggle to settle down. What was once a protective response can continue to make itself felt long afterwards. I take this into account during my massages, recognising that relaxation is not always straightforward and that everyone responds to touch differently.
What Is a Trauma-Informed Massage?
For me, trauma-informed massage is not just about the touch itself, but above all about how I offer that touch. Safety, trust, predictability, and respect for your personal boundaries form the foundation of my approach. I carefully tailor each massage to what you need in that moment, without forcing anything or placing expectations on you.
Before we begin, I take the time to discuss what feels comfortable for you and anything you would like me to take into account. Perhaps you prefer to know when and where I will touch you, have a preference for a particular level of pressure, or would rather certain parts of your body were not massaged. Throughout the session, I make sure there is always room for you to communicate what feels good and what does not. You can ask me to make an adjustment, take a break, or stop the massage at any time. You do not need to explain why. I believe it is important that you always remain in control of your own body.
Safety as the Foundation for Relaxation
In a traditional relaxation massage, the focus is often on reducing muscle tension and encouraging physical relaxation. With trauma-informed massage, I begin with something more fundamental: creating an environment in which you can experience a sense of safety. I understand that unexpected or overwhelming touch can sometimes cause the body to become even more tense. That is why I work at a gentle pace, communicate clearly, and make sure my touch is as predictable as possible.
By continuously respecting your boundaries and paying attention to your body's responses, I aim to create space in which tension may gradually ease. You might notice your breathing becoming calmer, your muscles feeling softer, or that it becomes easier to recognise what feels comfortable. Sometimes this takes time, and sometimes relaxation does not happen at all. That is perfectly okay too. I do not expect you to relax, nor do I see relaxation as something you have to achieve. What matters to me is that you feel respected and that there is room for your experience, whatever that may be.
Who Is This Massage Suitable For?
I offer trauma-informed massage to people who appreciate a thoughtful and carefully adapted approach to physical touch. Perhaps you have experienced distressing events, such as violations of your personal boundaries, an accident, or a difficult medical procedure. You may be dealing with prolonged stress, burnout, anxiety, or chronic physical tension. This approach may also feel supportive if you find physical touch uncomfortable, startle easily, have difficulty expressing your boundaries, or tend to withdraw or feel disconnected from your body during physical contact.
You do not need to have experienced trauma or received a diagnosis to book a trauma-informed massage with me. If you simply appreciate a little extra calm, clear communication, and a treatment that puts your personal needs and preferences first, you are equally welcome.
What Can You Expect During a Session?
I begin each session with a relaxed conversation in which we discuss what you need to feel comfortable and how I can best adapt the massage to your preferences. You do not have to share anything about possible traumatic experiences. I do not need to know exactly what happened to you in the past to respect your boundaries and respond thoughtfully to your needs. What matters to me is what feels right for you in the present moment.
During the massage, I pay attention to your body's signals, breathing, and responses, without immediately drawing conclusions from them. I adapt my touch and pace to your preferences and make adjustments whenever necessary. I do not expect you to respond in a particular way or follow a fixed process. What feels relaxing to one person may feel uncomfortable to another. That is why I remain attentive throughout the treatment and always give you room to express what does and does not feel comfortable.
How Our Experiences Affect the Body
With my background in mental healthcare, I am familiar with the ways stress, tension, and distressing life experiences can affect both physical and emotional well-being. I bring this understanding into my work as a massage therapist, paying attention not only to physical tension but also to the personal experience of touch and what someone may need to feel sufficiently safe and comfortable.
At the same time, I believe it is important to be clear about what I do and do not offer during a massage. I do not deliberately explore traumatic memories or attempt to process them through massage. You do not have to talk about your past, and I will not ask you to bring up particular memories or emotions. Trauma-informed massage is not trauma therapy and does not replace psychological or medical treatment. If you would like to explore personal experiences, thoughts, or feelings in greater depth, we can arrange a separate counselling session.
Rediscovering Trust in Your Body
With trauma-informed massage, I am not trying to massage trauma out of your body or release built-up tension at all costs. Instead, I want to offer you a positive and respectful experience of touch, where your body receives attention and your personal boundaries are respected as a matter of course.
My intention is to create space in which you may experience greater physical calm and become more aware of what you feel in your body. Perhaps you rediscover what kind of touch feels pleasant, become more aware of when something feels like too much, or experience what it is like to receive care and attention without any pressure. I believe these small experiences can be meaningful. Not because something has to change, but because you have the freedom to reconnect with your body in your own way and at your own pace.
Touch on Your Terms
In my practice, I want to offer a space where you do not have to prove anything. You do not have to relax completely, express emotions, or let go of anything. Perhaps touch feels completely natural to you, or perhaps allowing someone to come physically close requires a great deal of trust. Whatever your experience, I respect your pace and your personal boundaries.
I believe there should be room for whatever you feel, and equally for whatever you do not feel. I want you to feel comfortable telling me what you like and what you would rather avoid, knowing that I will take your boundaries seriously, without question or judgement. For me, safe touch does not begin with my hands. It begins with the trust that you are the one who gets to decide what feels right for you.
Would you like to discover whether trauma-informed massage is right for you? You are very welcome to contact me beforehand. I am happy to take the time to answer your questions and discuss your needs or preferences. Together, we can explore what feels comfortable and appropriate for you.
Love,
Marc
